On my last post, I mentioned things that have been said to me during my infertility journey that were hurtful and deconstructive. I promised to follow that post up with an excerpt of things that ARE helpful to those struggling to conceive. Not surprisingly, this post will be a lot shorter because there aren’t that many things to say that really take away the unique pain of infertility.

Below are a few things that are supportive and encouraging to those struggling to conceive.

  1. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. (It’s simple and can really mean a lot to those struggling.)
  2. I’m praying for you. (This is my favorite response. I’m religious and appreciate all the prayers that I can get. Of course, for one that is not religious, this comment might not be appreciated.)
  3. How can I help? (Chances are, you probably can’t. But, they’ll appreciate the sentiment.)
  4. Do you want to talk about it? (This lets them know you care and are open to discussion and to be there for them.)
  5. Ask questions. (Oftentimes I feel encouraged to know that others want to know about my journey or about infertility. But, if someone doesn’t seem receptive to your questions, then take it as a hint. Everyone’s comfort levels with the topic are different.)
  6. Words of affirmation are always nice. Something such as, “You’re so strong.” or “You deserve a family.”
  7. Finally, if you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say anything. (Just like your momma taught ya.)

I know this list is short and that my list of things to not say to someone struggling with infertility was a lot longer (see previous blog post), but infertility is a touchy subject. Thank you for being receptive to suggestions on how to help your friends and family that are struggling with infertility. Your support and encouragement is likely what is helping them nagivate this tough time.



30% of couples are diagnosed with unexplained infertility.


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