What I Do

For those that don’t know, I am a labor and delivery nurse. I graduated with my nursing degree in December of 2011, passed my NCLEX in January of 2012, and have been working in labor and delivery as a registered nurse since January of 2012. Before nursing school, I always thought that I would want to specialize in pediatrics or women’s care. After going through clinicals, I fell in love with L&D after being able to witness a caesarean section and vaginal birth. I’ll never forget leaving clinicals that day knowing that I knew exactly what area I wanted to specialize in. Senior year of nursing school I applied to countless jobs, but knew that my heart was in L&D. By the glory of God, I landed my dream job at the biggest county hospital in Dallas in labor and delivery. I’ve been here ever since.

I often get asked how I am able to work in labor and delivery while going through infertility. I honestly never know how to answer that question. I don’t know how to answer that question because I don’t know how I do it. I just do. Infertility is hard, but when you add to the mix working in a field where you see happy moms and beautiful babies (mostly) on a daily basis, it makes the unique pain of infertility even more real and raw. In addition, I work at a county hospital that serves the indigent population. Sadly, I also see cases where moms are not so excited to be having a baby, and those instances are even harder to see while suffering infertility. I’ve been working in labor and delivery for five years, and the first three of those years I was not trying to have a baby. My job is a little different and a little harder these past two years because of my pain of infertility. I’ve thought many times about quitting, about going to a different area of nursing, about quitting nursing altogether, but something keeps me here. When I truly consider what else I would do (besides be a stay at home mom), I can’t really think of anywhere else I’d rather be. My job is hard. Every. Single. Day. It is a reminder, every single day, of the baby that I don’t have, but long to hold. There are many days where I’m so burnt out or emotionally exhausted that I feel like I can’t go back to work. But, I always do, and at the end of the day, I am proud to be a labor and delivery nurse. It’s not easy and it’s not always a happy situation, but I like to be there for these women during the single most important time of their life. By the grace of God, he gives me the ability to still be able to work in this field while going through infertility. Just when I think the pain is too much to bear, I wake up for another day of work. And pray, constantly, that I will one day get to experience the birth of my own child and be on the other side of the coin.

 

 

—->In my next blog post, I’ll tell you a little about my experience with Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome.

***Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) is an excessive response to injectable gonadotropins which are used to make eggs grow. Injectable gonadotropins are often used during in-vitro fertilization. There are mild, moderate and severe cases of OHSS.

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